Things I Lost in 2015:

My ability to snap my fingers

My hands started their decline, this year. And it freaks me out. I’m still eating and breathing fine, so that’s grand. But…my HANDS, goddammit.

The Zombie Tramp House

Pretty damned near my dream home, bought at a steal because I got in at the bottom of the market, it had everything I wanted. Huge kitchen, 2 car garage, an enormous backyard for gardening, and room to spare. Six months after purchasing my house, I had a diagnosis that meant I wouldn’t be able to climb stairs soon. And the floor plan is such that there was no way to convert it to be accessible. And so I had to sell my dream house and move back in to an apartment. I traded a 4 bedroom house with a 2 car garage and huge yard for a 2 bed, 1 bath apartment. For only slightly cheaper than my mortgage payments.

My Main Babe

I lost my bestie and my primary caregiver and I’m still not sure what happened. And perhaps one of the reasons I lost her was because I still don’t understand why. I haven’t talked about that at all because it’s confusing and hurtful and I don’t want to present the wrong story, so I keep my mouth shut. But she’s no longer a main piece of my life and it hurts that she’s gone.

My friend Chad

Fucking cancer. God damn it all.

One of my newts

I found the dessicated corpse of one of my fire belly newts in the livingroom yesterday. Pretty sure Molly pulled him out of his tank and played with him until he dehydrated and died. And now I have one lonely newt in a tank by himself. Waldorf no longer has Statler. And I can’t even be mad at Molly for it.

But hey, at least I still have my health…..OH WAIT.

Meh, feeling pretty bitter about a lot of things today, but I know there’s some good stuff in there too. I made a lot of new friends. I found some new music. I had a lot of support. I had good times and good memories and still have a job and people who love me a lot. I still have friends and cats and music and family and the ability to enjoy delicious food.

But still. Dang, man.